When trying to conceive, a baby or any other creative project many times we want to rush and make it happen.
For example unexplained infertility can be one of the most devastating diagnoses. We always hope that by identifying the cause of a problem we can get to the solution. That’s how we’ve been trained as scientists and doctors.
Unfortunately when we focus too heavily on the diagnosis and the result, we often get trapped into a vicious cycle secretly punishing ourselves, or our partners, for what is “wrong” and stopping us from getting that result. And maybe there is nothing wrong, other than our expectation of timing.
What if we turn that belief about “wrong” into opportunity? What if time is actually our friend?
I once read a quote by a yogi who said something like: “Our children come to life when the moment is right for them to fulfill their soul’s purpose and evolution.” That idea has always stuck with me and it feels it apply to many situations.
If you’re planning to get pregnant soon, or struggling to get pregnant, or desiring to bring your Soul project into life, here’s what I want you to ask yourself: So what if timing isn’t what I thought it would be?
If we were talking about fertility, I know what you are probably thinking: “You can’t ask me to wait, while my doctors tell me that I’m getting older and might lose my chance to have children!” Yes, I hear you.
What I’m telling you is that in every creation you can use time in your favor, and improve your chances!
Taking time to prepare your body—the quality of your eggs, your cycle, the lining of your uterus, the sperm quality of your partner, balance thyroid function, heal from fatigue and chronic stress, to name few areas where you ‘can’ do something —can ultimately have a positive effect in natural conception and improve the success rate of assisted reproductive techniques. This is not a waste of time! I would call it an investment instead. Many times your doctor will be suggesting that you are not ready and you need to make adjustments before embarking in conception or ART, other times your doctor would be really emphasizing the need to find a healthy weight to begin a healthy pregnancy. And you can help your doctor so s/he can help you!
I teach Whole Fertile Life, an approach to preparing your life to receive that special Soul that will be your baby and creating space for what your Soul needs to birth through you. I believe fertility is much more than getting pregnant. Being fertile is a way of living, a choice, an attitude about being resourceful and aligned with Life. If your desire is to bring in a baby it is crucial to prepare not only your body, but your life, your relationships, your home, your career and your support network. It’s not just about the baby registry or the nursery. It’s more about a whole life that will not only accommodate the new member but will allow the whole family to thrive.
We tend to just focus on the desired result—pregnancy—and quite often we forget that it is just the beginning of a new life.
This journey begins with self-love. Yes. Self love, self compassion, self care, and as I tell my clients, some self indulgence too (healthy, of course!).
What you eat today will not only impact your ability to optimize your body for conception but will hopefully support a healthy pregnancy, a smooth recovery, and happy, well-nourished parents who can provide a safe, healthy environment for their baby to flourish. The same applies for exercise, meditation and any spiritual practice we can choose. Infertility can be turned into fertility and an opportunity for acceptance, love and healing, and even more importantly: a devotional way of living to welcome the baby you are “calling in”.
Likewise, for any deeply desired Soul project, like a business, finding a tribe, a belonging, there is a time from conception to birth in which we adapt, grow, incubate and develop the “new life”. We are often rush it to have it now, but important, beautiful, healthy and grounded blessings might need an incubation time. Are you willing to embrace the cocoon and nurture this from the seed all the way to the blossoming?
So if you were going to accept that you have a choice on how to live your journey, and having time not as an enemy but as a friend, what would you choose?