Imagine a path of pebbles.
In every struggle, like fertility struggles, a life crisis, a dis-ease, a break up, (you get it) there is a golden lesson.
Not always evident, not always easy, but rather an open invitation.
Sometimes, to break down our egoic patterns there is not even an indication of the way out.
Just a few pebbles. The discomfort in the one you are currently stepping can feel so unsettling. You might wonder “How did I end up here? Could I have done something different? How do I get out of here?”
You can stay stuck, you can fall, you can keep wrapping up your head around these questions.
Maybe in the discomfort you just see the next stepping stone, and in a sheroic act of courage you step in. And then, maybe you see another, and again you step in… and you see another…
You continue to step on the next stepping stone, sometimes wondering how on earth could this one be placed in such perfect position and time for you to land, safely. You might begin to trust. You might begin to believe that you are actually supported, taken care of, watched after, loved. By something ‘bigger’.
After walking through the many newly discovered stepping stones you might find yourself at a place of more balance, more grounded, actually breathing, and being able to look back.
Yes, there was a path of stepping stones. Maybe divinely arranged for you. You couldn’t have known before. You just got to the point where things got so challenging that you had to trust and step in. One stepping stone at the time.
Certain journeys have that pace.
Just like a blossom. Only when one petal opens, can the next one unfold.
Such is healing.
Maybe that’s just the way we need it to be. It would feel too overwhelming to deal with all the layers we have to heal. As my mentor Elisabeth Manning told me, “The light can be too much, so sometimes we have to walk with a flash light, focusing just on the next step, and trusting that each one will be revealed”. Trust.
In doing so, we can work, one step at a time on the areas that need a shift. When we balance one thing we can move to the next one. Trusting.
While we certainly can be grateful for things in the past that brought us where we are, I feel that gratitude is also about acknowledging and being appreciative of whatever challenge is in front of us in this moment. Even those early stepping stones, when we don’t know where we are going or how things are going to turn.
What if each challenge has a divine place, in our growth and evolution and has been specially designed for us?
Take for example Fertility struggles. Of course if you asked me back then when I was in my bottom point I would have said “How could this possible be a gift?” I did indeed said it when my coach told me “Every experience, every challenge is an opportunity, it’s a gift.” But then something shifted. And I trusted.
Now I know that journey was crucial for me to be a more conscious mother. I really needed to walk that path, not to have children, not to change my career, but to become a better, more evolved version of myself. And it helped. Here are some examples.
One of the first areas of healing in my journey was around physical energy, balance, and nourishment. As much as we want to get pregnant at the beginning of our journey, there are huge energy demands in becoming a mother. Not only you grow a whole new baby, then you birth her, and after birth there is a period of recovery and healing. In addition moms nursing, have higher demands of energy and nutrients. So getting in the habit of mindfully preparing meals and taking your supplements before conception becomes really helpful after the baby is here. It’s not only about the baby, it’s about learning self care and self love.
Another area where we are challenged after we become mothers is with our relationships. The postpartum phase is the most tender and raw you can imagine. Think PMS one thousand times, every day for several months. In addition of being sleep deprived! Ok, there might be certain moms that don’t experience this, and really I don’t want to be negative, but the reality is the roller coaster of emotions can be surprising for all of us who hoped to be the happiest mom in the world once the bundle of joy is in our arms. So all those long chats, tears, dreams, hugs, connection that cultivated with our partner in the months (or years) previous to conception are so valuable. Here is the time when we get to experience really how loved we are, in our new role, and in our messiness. And it helps to keep showing up.
On our daily life, sometimes we find ourselves, out of nowhere rising awareness of a potential accident and we are suddenly coming to the scene to find out how amazing is this new super power called maternal instinct, our incredible intuition. We might actually have begun cultivating it by following her whispers in our fertility journey.
And countless times, at the verge of our nerves and exhaustion, when two kids cry at the same time, and I have a hard time to focus on how to reassure them and tend to them, I take a breath, pause, I drop my grounding cord, I exhale slowly. I remember that meditation helped me to become aware, to return to the present moment and to clear my mind of fears and anxieties (“if it’s going to happen, when, what if it fails, financial concerns, is it the right day, who am I to do this work, etc.” I bet you’ve heard them too). I can take another breath and suddenly I’m doing it, I’m grounding myself. What is really important now? And here are my children witnessing me calm and able to respond, mindfully. I got them. Because I got myself.
And this I learned through my journey.
As I learned to heal the grief of not having the happiest childhood, or the wound around my mother, or abuse, and so on... At the end I'm so happy I was able to clear this before having my children.
There are so many examples about how my fertility journey prepared me to be a little more mindful as a mother.
Motherhood is a spiritual journey. For some of us it begins before we conceive.
Many of the children that are coming are highly evolved. Some have picked us to provide us with an upgrade, in many areas of our life. The fertility journey was for me an awakening. I can see it clearly now. But at that point… when I saw just one stepping stone and nothing else I imagined a portal. I opened myself to the idea that it was actually a gift, and decided to trust and cross that portal.
I believe we all can take a little growth. Otherwise why would we still be hanging out here? I believe our challenges -that unsteady stone where we find ourselves from time to time- lead to a path of growth and healing. When we embrace gratitude we tune into a higher vibration from where we can tap in the infinite potential that is our birth right.
Sometimes we have to trust, maybe by looking back and witnessing how other times this worked in our life. But also embracing the present moment. So in this Thanksgiving season I invite you to trust, to remember that you are Whole, and there is nothing broken, nothing to fix, maybe just a path to healing. Can you embrace the challenge with gratitude and trust? Can you cross that portal?
The next stepping stones will always be revealed.
What we are seeking is seeking us.
You are already becoming that loving caring mother of your creations (babies and projects). In whatever way the Universe is conspiring. In divine timing.
If you are open… repeat to yourself “I trust. I embrace this journey with gratitude and I trust”. Remember this is all for you. (BTW, I’m doing the same in here, I’ll tell you more another time).
Happy Thanksgiving my love.
PS: If you resonate with this view and feel called to embrace your own healing I invite you to connect. I’m devoted to share my journey and lessons in service to catalyze healing in the world. The Souls of the unborn children have asked me to serve in this way, by supporting their future moms. Maybe you are one of them?